How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
