it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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