So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Randomize
