My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
