either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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