Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
