$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
