You don't have asthma, your pregnant
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
