how can u be prego again
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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