I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize