I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
