Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
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