My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Randomize
