Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
