I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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