Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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