just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
