dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
