Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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