she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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