Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
