PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Randomize
