I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
