I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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