Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
