May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
