your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
