i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
