maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
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