is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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