i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
