I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
