i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
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In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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