Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
