with your own penis?
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
either way he was missing a nipple.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
