like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
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Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
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You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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