So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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