your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
