Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
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The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
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hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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