i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Randomize