he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
