I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
