my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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