Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
only if we run a train.
done.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
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