This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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