after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Randomize
