I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants