I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
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I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
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Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans