I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .