then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis