Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
