i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Porn is love you can see.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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