I must be too annoying 4 u.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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