end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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