a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
