How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
